I'm in a shit mood today. I didn't want to wake up. I just wanted to sleep. Things aren't better today. If anything they are about the same as yesterday, and yesterday was a pretty shitty day. It could be the fact that i spent Thursday, and Friday night drinking... and the fact that i don't really have friends... and didn't really have the most joyous Easter... i could be the fact that I've been single for a while... or that my career seems to have stalled over the last two years... it could be the fact that my dad is dying of a disease that is incurable... it could be a lot of things....
I know what its not though... its not time to give up. The moment i give up... is the moment i stop trying to improve everything. There have been more bad days in recent memory than there have been good days. And a lot of that has to do with the hopelessness of my situation. I want to be thin... i want to have a girlfriend... i want to have more money... and i want to be happy... and these things are what are weighing heavy on my soul... because i am not thin... i don't have a girlfriend... i don't have a lot of money... and I'm not happy.
I keep asking the question "why me" yet there is no response. I'm waiting for the weather to break, so i can finally get outside and enjoy the weather... but it seems like 40's and rain are all thats in store for the next few weeks.
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