So.. the detox didn't start yesterday, in a way it did... i skipped out on a late night beer even though the temptation was there. I drank mostly water but also had some soda during the course of the day. And... i ended up eating Pizza for lunch and dinner with my Father. I haven't quit smoking just yet.
Yesterday i took my dad out to western connecticut to see so waterfalls on the CT/NY line. It was an interesting ride. Overall I think the talk in the car to and from was a nicer experience than the waterfalls themselves... mainly because my father and i talked for nearly the entire 6 hours of driving. The course took us through the central part of the state and it was nice to see parts of connecticut that i don't normally see. On the way home we drove through Hartford which was a city i had never driven through. Overall it was a good day however i became very sad on the way home from my parents... and well.. once i was home i broke down crying. I love my parents... and it hate to seem my dad in such rough shape... his shaking was bad to say the least. And i know i am only going to have maybe 5 or 10 more good years with him until he can no longer take care of himself... and at that point he will likely no longer talk. I wish there was already a cure for parkinson's.... but unless there is a major breakthrough in the next few years... it may come too late to help his condition. But, like i said... it was a good day overall... and i know he had a good time... thats the important part.
Right now... i am sitting out on the back patio... with the sun beating down on my shirtless back... it's not as hot as it was over the weekend... but i would say it is still very warm out. Today, i woke up... and did the things i said i was going to do... I got up... took a shower... brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, started a load of laundry, and registered my car on uber. It's probably going to take a few days until the car clears their registration process... so i am hoping that i'll be off and driving before the end of the weekend. Once my clothes finish drying, i am running out to the bank to deposit a few checks that i have... and then.. well.. i'm not quite sure. Yesterday on the ride back from CT i ended up finding Arcadia... the route that the GPS used to come home actually took us right through the state park and once we got to route 3 i realized exactly where i was. It's not to far off from a fishing spot that my and my roommate typically go to a few times during the year. So... i know for sure that i'll be going down there at least once this week... maybe twice... once to go hiking... and once to go kayaking. i will just have to figure out a back way of getting down there as i don't really want to go on the highway with my kayak... its not that I'm scared... its just that i've only rode with it on the roof twice and its something i still need to get used to... doing 70 on the highway would make me a little nervous.
The goal for this week... is to relax... become more physically active... try to wake up before 9 am... shower everyday.. eat breakfast every day... limit spending... try to earn some extra money through random ventures... and most of all... have a good time. The time of being negative and depressed has passed... it's time to be optimistic and happy going forward... most importantly... i need to let myself be open minded for anything new and exciting that could possibly come up this week... and hopefully... hopefully... relax about trying to meet people... if people find me interesting enough to want to talk to me... I'm sure they will... and if they don't... so be it. i am hoping that by the end of the week... i will have successfully quit smoking, be it though the patch... the gum... or simply abstaining. This will be a "no alcohol" week... so my normal stomping grounds won't be where i go... i figure your can't get a beer when your out in nature... and well.. when i do stop somewhere for food... i'll just make sure that i order a water... or soda... rather than a beer. And... if I'm bored.. and in need of people to talk to... i can visit my parents. I'm no longer going to be "texting - messaging" people... honestly it seems like i just end up pissing people off in the process. This will mean the end of a few friendships... or (internet friendships) but its probably for the best. Most of the people i text are only in my life through my direct action of reaching out to them... so... theres no point in continuing to try when they don't put forward the same amount of effort. I have... 3 good friends.. and 4 family members that i care about... and right now... thats really all i need. i am getting to old for people that have nothing to offer.
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